Not Being Here like I want to. had told
mary100859
He there friends sorry I hae been away for so long, but life has dealt me a lot of changes these past 2 years, one I found a dear friend that I had been friends with since junior high school and things were great for awhile until we got home from a trip to Roswell to see a mutual friends of ours. I am not really sure just what went wrong, she sent me an email a few days later saying that I was blaming her for the years that were lost in our friendship when it was the other way around, but all I know is that she decided that we can not be friends any longer and because of that it has put a strain on my friendship with Carole because she is stuck in the middle of all of this. I have 3 other friends that know Kathy and they all say the same thing and that is they believe that she is using that as an excuse to break our friendship because she had believe that when we made the trip to Roswell she could convince me that I could fall in love with her despite the fact that I told her before agreeing to go we had a long talk and I said that I was honored that she could feel that way about me and that I could only love her as a friend and that I was straight. Thinking back on it I believe that she may have thought she could change me but it had not work. The trip down to see our friend Carole despite all that was a wonderful trip because we did talk a lot and that got me thinking that I had to find a way to break some of my bad habits and make other changes in my life that needed to be done. I did all of that and while things are not perfect but they are a somewhat better than they were before. My only regret in making the move that I did was that I had to leave my nephew Conrad and with him being only 5 it was hard for him to accept that I was going. I have helped him through as best I can and I make a point to call him at least once a week.

I now live in Pa with my niece Melinda and her family things hae been better but not perfect. She had four children 3 boys 6,5 and 4 and she also had 1 beautiful little girl that is 2 1/2 and just like her Mom at that age, she is like my second shadow. I love them all, but she just like Conrad have a special place in my heart. We are again looking to move but just to another place here in Pa, but it has been hard trying to find a place that we can afford as well as big enough for us and must let us keep our kitties. I hope that I will get a better handle on my depression that I am always dealing with and I have for most all of the time and that is because of medication that I am on, my nieces and nephews as well as my dearest friends of all Patti, Johnn and Bill which I have been friends with for over 40 years and I thank God for them every day.

Well that is the update on my simple little life that I have so I will stop ranting on and on. Thanks to all that take time and read about little old me, even if I am not so small, :P, take care to all of you out there.

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